This Match Report is sponsored by Aalto Construction, M.H. Construction,  H&H Construction & Green Tangerine Catering


Surrey Intermediate Football League 

Keens Park Rangers Reserves 3 Staines and Lammas Reserves 1

Goals: Watto, Sammy, Toby

Man-of-the-match: Jambo Crouch

Even if a broken clock is correct twice a day, my prediction of KPR’s resurgence, after a barren couple of weeks, came to pass with good wins for both sides in their respective leagues.

He’s off again! Oscar sprints for another through ball he has little chance of catching

If the firsts had to come from behind before consolidating a thumping win away to Guildford United, the ressies always had their noses in front of Staines and Lammas (just about) at a cold and blustery Fortress Pyrford. While it was damned uncomfortable for the supporters, such were the conditions it effected the play with the opposition keeper’s goal kicks almost blowing back in his face, whereas what may have been super passes forward for KPR proved into fruitless chases for the ever-committed Oscar up front.

He also had some rather trigger-happy linesmanship to deal with. If the referee soon saw through that, he surprised everyone in giving an indirect free kick less than half-an-hour into the match for their keeper taking more than six seconds to release the ball! Once everyone understood what was happening Jake simply rolled the ball to Watto who stoked it home ‘around’ a wall so shambolic Chinga may have built it.

If that proved weak, the opposition’s equaliser came from a strong bit of play that upset the defence. Older viewers didn’t see anything wrong with it, yet it proved to be as good as it got for them until half-time intervened.

Connor fully committed

All-square was certainly fair at that stage. However, the introduction of Sam Bullen early in the second-half proved the catalyst for KPR regaining a lead they never looked like relinquishing having threaded a cracking pass through the defence with almost his first intervention that Sammy latched onto and chipped over the keeper.

Jake closing down one of their ‘danger men’

It was at this stage that Mick ‘Supergrass’ Harrison asked the referee to stop the game as a visiting spectator was ‘abusing’ lino Kempy. Those who know Kempy will be aware it is usually he that distributes his own brand of dubious humour. But, in the words of the referee, this “idiot” (think the Jeering Fan shouting “Jackass!” in ‘Happy Gilmore’) had outstayed his welcome and he soon left before ruining everyone’s afternoon.

The football reinstated, KPR maintained their dominance largely on the formidable shoulders of man-of-the-match Jambo, who had his hands full all afternoon. Credit must also go the the unassuming, yet vital, work of Josh who kept a potentially dangerous foe in his pocket all afternoon. But, having struck goal(d) with his first substitution manager Liam pulled off the unlikely trick a second time as substitute Toby produced an extremely neat finish with almost his first touch of the ball.

I have not doctored this picture

A real punch the air moment it was game over from that point onwards and Liam had the luxury of bringing on his remaining subs that included Owen’ Gladiator’ Stutchberry recently returned from his look-a-likey Russel Crowe’s home nation of New Zealand before the referee called time.

We were certainly entertained! And the fun continued down the King’s Head (even if I lost Spoof) where Chinga treated all and sundry to a view of his gashed leg. Nice.

This Match Report is sponsored by Aalto Construction,  H&H Construction & Green Tangerine Catering