This Match Report is sponsored by Aalto Construction, M.H. Construction,  H&H Construction & Green Tangerine Catering


Surrey Premier County Football League

Keens Park Rangers 0 Worcester Park 3

Goals: If only

Man-of-the-match: Reece Killick

A comprehensive defeat for KPR at home did not, as you’d expect, offer many opportunities for mirth. Indeed, the game was a pretty dull affair, but you’ve got to take the opportunities when they arise.

Much like the awful puns to follow, KPR’s first chance was a singular affair after Courage showed great pace and control in running at the opposition’s defence. Regrettably, as a right-footed player, he was heading to the left side of the area and could only stab the ball wide when in full flight.

Little did we know, but that’d be that for a first half dominated by the visitors of whom ‘Cheese’ up top was a central figure. Strong and ‘mature’ as he was, captain Simmo was enjoying having a nibble of him when waiting for a free kick to be taken.

Woods Snr summing up the mood at half time

Although a rare example of KPR getting the upper hand, neither side were producing anything approaching good football. As far as the home side were concerned, a number of absentees – including top scorer Luke – didn’t help matters. And as much as his selection choices were already limited, matters got worse when Rob’s groin went when clearing the ball (the ‘melt’).

If this afforded sub Woodsy an early run out, KPR were now in a bit of a pickle and went behind just before half time after a powerful shot from distance that keeper Kieran could do little about. Only fair on the balance of play, the talk in the pavilion was dominated by the Ryder Cup and some car park chaos that led to a scramble for keys.

Woodsy with a rare shot on goal

The players were also scrambling about, and credit to Rory, Josh and man-of-the-match Reece for sticking to their tasks. Doug and Woodsy were also giving it their all, with Woodsy managing a rare attempt at goal from a difficult angle. Sadly, KPR then conceded a penalty after Simmo sliced down an attacker.

Bulldog attempting to spread the ball

Having kept his counsel, Gary then brought on Dan ‘whey’ (you tired of this yet?) for Josh and he created a half-chance for Bulldog with his first touch. It was all to no avail, however, as the visitors produced a cracker of a goal that Kieran could do nothing about.

And that, sadly, was that. As Courage received a very soft ‘sin bin’ for merely making a polite enquiry about a handball. Hard cheese on players and supporters alike, perhaps, but all were cheered by a barnstorming performance by the ressies and Woodsy’s joint 30th party later in the evening. Life ain’t so bad after all.


This Match Report is sponsored by Aalto Construction,  H&H Construction & Green Tangerine Catering